Where the sun don't shine...

People use this expression as in "I'm gonna put that where the sun don't shine." And everyone goes "wink, wink" and allegedly all the people involved know exactly what this saying means and that they've all just shared a little "naughty" moment.

But think about it. The sun don't shine in my closet, under my bed, in my toothbrush cup, in the medicine chest, under my couch cushions, in the trunk of my car, in my kitchen cupboards, in the shoes I have tucked in the back of my closet, inside my purse, under the hubcap of my car, in my make-up bag, in George Bush's mind, in the Grinch's heart (pre-Cindy-Lou-Who conversion), well, you get the point. It don't shine in a whole lot of places. Now if we're talking body parts, and all you "naughty" moment people know what I mean, then it don't shine in my ear canal, up my nose, in my throat, between my toes, or where I wear my clothes to hide my chubby body in an effort not to put someone in cardiac arrest or therapy for many years to come. So, the next time someone makes that comment about putting an object where the sun don't shine, I'll be thinking about what might end up under my couch cushions and I hereby cancel my membership in the NMPP (Naughty Moment People's Party). Thank you and good night--also a "sun don't shine" kind of thing.