As I career down the highway of life, with no special destination in mind (well, when the mind is slippery it's hard to keep anything in it), I wonder how I'll know if I'm there yet since I don't know where it is I'm headed. And, no I'm not headed to that "hot place" in a hand basket!
I sometimes think I have my emergency blinkers going full tilt because my life is just too busy and too crazy and I need help (or at least a few days to decompress). Other times I think I have forgotten to shift gears and I'm just dragging myself through the hour, the day, the week. A few times I have had two flat tires and my battery is low and I need some air and a re-charge. Then there are the days when the motor is purring, the shifting is smooth, and there are no pot holes in the road. When that happens, I can't believe my luck and I begin to wonder when that 18-wheeler is going to come around the bend and flatten me like a tin can in a recycling plant. So I've decided that I need to have a definite goal, a place that will make the trip worthwhile. So where do you find directions to a great place? Mapquest. With Mapquest on my side what can go wrong? Well, actually Mapquest is probably the number one reason people going someplace where they have never been before get totally lost. I once sought the help of Mapquest to find a friend's house here in YC. Now Yuba City isn't the big city. It's not a small dot on the map anymore, but by NYC standards, it's pretty insignificant, at least geographically and populationally (no that's not a word) speaking. I put in my "leave from" and my "go to" addresses, received my print out of verbal directions and a map of the entire west coast (using up half my color cartridge) and I thought I was good to go. I ended up in an orchard. Now my friend likes fresh fruit as much as the rest of us, but I knew he did not live in the midst of a sea of peach trees. I reconnoitered and tried the directions three times, but ended up back in the orchard each time. I never made it to the party that night but I enjoyed a lot of juicy peaches and I vowed never to trust Mapquest again. Maybe that's been my problem. I've been relying on the Mapquests of the world and I always end up someplace I never wanted to go--yummy peaches aside.
Perhaps it's time to return to the old fashioned way of getting from point A to point B--ask at the local gas station (except, of course, if you live in Boston). No one at any gas station in the greater Boston area lives there and so they only know the way from their house to their gas station, so, unless you want to go to their house, you won't be able to move your car in any meaningful direction. The few gas station attendants who do try to help you forget important details like names of streets, which way to turn, important landmarks, exits on highways ("It's one of those 9s)... My youngest son and I once spent two hours driving around Belmont, MA and never got more than 10 blocks away from our original starting point. Belmont's a nice little town, but not worth hours of driving in circles. We became very familiar with the houses and shops in our little 10 block adopted town-for-the-afternoon. We were contemplating employment with the local Chamber of Commerce when we broke free and found someone who could actually give us accurate directions to our destination. I think he was from out-of-state. Now that I think about it, maybe I'll just go home. I know how to get there. Like Dorothy said to Toto, "There's no place like home."
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2 comments:
There's also no place like "the" home, if you know what I mean... :P
Yes. Grandma is there. I have had way too many experiences with the "Home" over the past three years. It's depressing, even when the "Home" is a nice place with a great staff. I do not want to be in one of those places, but who knows that the future will bring... I may be living in a Metamucil Mansion someday.
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