There's nothing like a good cry...

Sometimes we spend a lot of energy and effort trying to keep a stiff upper lip (actually that is a rather strange description when you think about it. Does that mean our upper lip is rigid and our bottom lip is quivering, flacid and drooping down, perhaps drooling?) when all we want to do is let our emotions spill over and get rid of those pent-up feelings?

The whole idea that we should never let go, allow our real sensitivies to be revealed to others in our circle of family and friends is one of the big lies we buy. I don't know who first dictated that someone who allows his or her feelings to come to the surface is weak or somehow defective, but I'll bet he or she is either emotionally locked in an iron box or is a secret cryer. Now I'm not saying that we should all go around blubbering all the time about the petty inconveniences or silly comments made by the socially insensitive people in our lives or whining about whatever doesn't go our way--I'd be voting for the stiff upper lip for these situations or at least duct tape over the mouth. I'm talking about allowing ourselves some latitude, some liberty when it comes to reverting to our core emotions and crying covers a lot of emotional territory. We cry when we're sad. We cry when we suffer loss or great disappointment. We cry when we feel vulnerable and afraid. We cry when we're happy or are touched by something sentimental, sweet, or sacred. We cry when someone we love is experiencing any of these feelings. Tears are cathartic. They are a release. They can clear our vision when we are done shedding them. And sometimes they are the only way we can convey how deeply we feel about something or someone. Sometimes they are the way we say, "This is important. I feel strongly about this. You need to know just how important and how deeply I feel. My tears are emotional punctuation marks, exclamation points that tell you more than what my words can say." Whether we cry alone or cry in someone else's company, we all need to believe that it is an acceptable activity if not taken to the extreme. Alone, we cry on God's shoulder. For all other occasions we are blessed if we can find the shoulder of a compassionate friend, family member or warm and fuzzy pet.

The next time we're inclined to use the phrase, "For crying out loud!" as a demeaning comment about someone's behavior, we might want to reconsider doing so. Babies cry to pretty much express everything they feel--"I'm wet." "I'm hungry." "I'm tired." "My blankie is missing." "My binkie fell out of my mouth." We are taught "Use your words" at an early age, but sometimes words aren't enough and when verbiage fails, tears, for crying out loud, will prevail.