How time flies when you're funning have!

It has been over a year since my last blog. If memory serves me right...and my memory doesn't serve me anything...I've been living life to its fullest--masked balls, tea with the queen, attending state dinners, meeting with the president, entertaining the troops, etc. Actually my life is more like facial masks to help smooth out some of the wrinkles, no tea with anyone, drive-through dinners on a Friday night, talking to myself about what I would say to the president if we ever met...and I got past security, but I do entertain the troops. Every morning I open my front door, dressed in a pathetic bathrobe, with all three hairs standing on end, no make-up, baggy eyes and I step out onto my stoop to pick up the newspaper. Did you know that trees and bushes can laugh? Yep, those and any neighbors who are unfortunately out and about at that hour get a little "wake-up" call by looking at me! No one can accuse me of not sharing or bringing laughter to the world. Well, actually it's more like a hyena's cackle....

I left work early today because I was not feeling well and I came home to take some Advil and a nap. Did both. Don't feel a whole lot better, but am hoping that a full night's sleep will do the trick. I have work to do tomorrow and people counting on me--not like the queen or the president noted above--but regular people with whom I work. After my nap, my hair was doing the dance of "slept all wrong" and I failed to entertain the troops. That will have to wait for another day. I also missed going to Book Club--something I enjoy, but my body said, "Don't even think about it or I'll take you down." So I stayed home and caught up with e-mails, talked to my daughter and decided to break the year-plus boycott of my blog. Since I blog for my company--they don't let me show my bizarre humor side--I've been lazy about blogging on my own personal site. Perhaps being sick isn't all bad, well except for the scary outfit I'm wearing, the mashed and disheveled hair style I'm sporting and the fact that my stomach would like to return all the gifts I fed it at dinner.

Did you know that Christmas is only 3 months and 4 days away? Start panicking now. Why wait. You know the Christmas decorations are already being put on the shelves at the department stores, right next to the Halloween decorations and costumes--that's still a jarring juxtaposition to behold! I can hear the sound of cloven hooves on my roof--so either it's the reindeer or one of my neighbor's pet goats has escaped again and shinnied up the drain pipe!