My porch light is flickering...

I mean my real porch light, not my mental porch light. Actually my mental porch light has been a dim bulb for a very long time, but no one seems to notice or they are trying to be kind. I'm good with kindness. It works. Meanwhile, I'll have to replace my real porch light --not an easy feat. First I have to get my self worked up mentally to perch on a step stool. Then I have to ignore all the smart alecs driving by honking their horns as I step up on to it--the little people are so easily amused. Next I have to take four tiny screws out of the top of the light housing, remove the top carefully, try not to lose any of those itty-bitty screws, take out the old bulb, put in the new one, test the new one BEFORE replacing the top and screwing it in place so I don't have to repeat steps two through four and give the drive-by honkers more opportunity to honk, shout and laugh their way past an old, three-haired person standing all wobbly-legged on a step stool. Finally, if the bulb lights, replace the top, step off the step stool, take a bow and think rude thoughts about all the young whipper-snapper drivers-by, exit the front porch and go back inside the house with what little dignity I might still have intact.

Speaking of things intact. The other day I had to borrow a friend's son to retrieve something for me from the loft in my garage. I watched him scurry up the ladder, grab the two items I needed. Race down the ladder with both boxes in hand, put the ladder away and, with a smile on his face, ask if there was anything elese I needed. Time elapsed: 3.5 minutes. I thanked him and said I had everything I needed. He left. Well I lied. What I didn't mention was that I didn't have any dignity left and needed some of that, but I knew he couldn't help me there. What happened to my legs, my agility, my balance? There was a time when I could have gone up and down the ladder like an energetic young pup too. When that kind of exertion wouldn't have brought on wheezing and heavy-breathing (the kind you can get arrested for) or fear of broken limbs or sloth-like movements and 10 minutes just to work up the courage to step onto the first rung of the ladder. I guess I'll just have to be content with my flickering porch light efforts on the step stool and being the entertainment for the neighborhood...GE--we bring good things to life.