Is the turkey gone yet?

The answer is no. And the reason the answer is no is that eating turkey everyday until it is completely gone puts massive, cumulative amounts of tryptophan (sp?)that make you deliriously sleepy (and unable to spell tryptophan, triptophan, triptofan...) so you are unable to eat more than a meal or two a day because you are in nonnyland so often. This means that you are now behind in your Christmas shopping, card writing, gift wrapping, mailing of gifts so they'll be on time to the recipients, egg-nogging (that could be another reason you're sleeping so often), and other festivities associated with the season. Christmas is exactly 30 days away, so you'd better get rid of Mr. Turkey immediately if you are to fulfill your obligations to the hordes of family and friends.

Aren't the holidays fun? You get to work hard, earn money, work hard to find "perfect" gifts, wrap them in the latest style and not in last year's paper, try to decide if you want to pay an arm or a leg to either UPS or the USPO to mail them to their destinations, sign, address, lick and seal each envelope of every card and spend the yearly budget of a small nation on postage stamps (at least if the stamps were bigger with each cost increase we all might feel we're getting something for our postage cash outlay), clean the house, cook a big meal for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, clean up after cooking and feeding everyone, and check the latest issue of Martha Stewart's magazine to make sure you had the "Best Christmas Ever". If you didn't meet that expectation/goal, just eat some more turkey (probably still left from November's feast) and sleep until the feeling of holiday failure goes away. If the atheists are looking for converts to their "don't believe in anything" philosophy of whatever, they should approach all women who have entertained during the holidays. They'll all be instant unbelievers, at least until the next holiday comes around and they have renewed energy to make it the "Greatest, Best Memory-laden Holiday in World History"...