reasons I want to be good

Today it was almost 100 degrees here in Yuba City, CA, bean sprout capital of the planet. All the sprouts have wilted and most of the people who live here have turned mean and cranky and just a bit melty. Who invented heat? Satan!! That's who and he is torturing the people of my town right now as I type away. All the fruits and vegetables are trying so hard to grow nice and juicy and ripe for all the world to buy and Mr. Hothead Sun is going to turn everything into a dried up version of whatever. Prunes weren't invented by some clever person who wondered what would happen if a plum got all wrinkly. They happened because the heat stayed too long and the plums all got sucked dry and turned into prunes before they were ever picked. Now we just hurry the process by picking them before the summer's heat hits and we run them through a very hot "room" on a conveyor belt. They start out as lovely plums and end up looking like what Joan Rivers would be without her 600 plastic surgeries. And, yes, dried fruit did come to us from Egypt and the Middle East, but have you ever seen the "put it in the sun for a bunch of time and let nature remove all the liquid from it" fruits that those areas produce? They look like leather. They act like leather--good quick fix for a shoe with a hole in the sole. And they taste like leather with a hint of fruitiness. (Yes, I know there are some not-so-nice spins on this last sentiment, but leave them unsaid. Thank you.) Well, now I'm feeling a bit piqued about all this heat so early in the not-yet-summer season, so I think I'll go out and water my lawn and myself and save the crankiness for another day...